It's okay, re-enacting Bridget Jones Diary belting "All by Myself" and downing white wine is utterly and completely normal post-breakup. You’re hurt, confused and incredibly heartbroken over circumstances that left you in a deep dark place.
After all-day PJ sessions, styling raccoon eyes with empty pints of Ben & Jerry’s, but it doesn’t have to be that way. For the strong and fearless Womanista that you are, we have a few breakup survival tips to heal your broken heart.
Since breakups make you feel lethargic and dejected, exercising can benefit you to boost brain chemicals so that you’re happier. Author of Sex on the Brain, Dr. Daniel Amen claims because serotonin (the happy vibes) and endorphins (the painkillers) become askew in the brain after breakups, exercise is the “best way to feel better naturally.”
The people that stick by and love you the most are your friends and family. Surround yourself with happy, positive people who will lift you up and most of all, make you laugh seeing as studies have shown that laughter elicits endorphins—yay!
Meditate, don’t medicate after a breakup! It’s easy to pop a painkiller, drink until his memory fades or veg on the couch with Netflix, wondering which episode did Carrie and Big break up in, but that is the start to a downward spiral. Instead, take five minutes out to practice yoga techniques and deep breathing. You’ll thank yourself later.
Now that you have a chunk of free time, indulge in activities like learning a new language or solo traveling—anything to stimulate positive thought and increase creativity. Be a busy bee and work on personal projects because sitting idle and musing over memories will not help. So go out and live a lot!
Author, Booker T. Washington was right when he said, “Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Studies have proven the happiest people are those that give back and focus on the needs of others as opposed to themselves because it shifts the pattern from the wounded to the empowered. By losing yourself in the service of others, you’ll find what you need to know about yourself and those around you.
Build confidence by trying something you’ve never done before, like speed dating, bungee-jumping or even a new diet. With ways to improve self-esteem by updating appearances to help feel sexy and desirable again, style psychologist, Kate Nightingale says the quickest boost is by simply wearing red lipstick.
It’s okay to cry or be angry, so don’t ignore your feelings because that will callous you and create fear for future relationships. If you’re not ready to talk it out, talk to yourself or write in a journal. Either way, pay attention to YOU and take as much time as you need to heal. Patience is a virtue and with time and support, you’ll feel better and find love again.