The book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, taught us we think and communicate differently than the opposite sex. Not that you needed a bestselling tome to tell you that.
Can you have a fulfilling relationship with a man, if you’re never really on the same page? If only there were a man-speak decoder, that could translate what a man is saying, into what he actually means…
Maybe someone, somewhere is developing one. Until then, relationship and etiquette expert April Masini of AskApril.com says, “Don’t expect him to speak your language. If you accept that what he says isn’t necessarily what you’re hearing, then you have an advantage because you can open your mind and consider various interpretations.”
With that in mind, consider these 7 things men say, and what they really mean:
1. I’ll call you
But he doesn’t. Again, we turn to popular culture to decipher this gem of guy lingo. Remember “He’s Just Not That Into You?” April says, that is true. “He didn’t want a confrontation, so he said he’d call you, to make you smile, because that’s the you he wants to deal with —even if he doesn’t want to date you.” Her advice? Move on.
2. I’ll be there in 10
But it’s more like half an hour. Maybe he’s stuck in traffic. A guy who’s chronically late may be unfocused, or isn’t making you a priority. What he’s really saying in this case is, “I’ll get there when I get there.” It’s up to you if you want to wait around.
3. No, I didn’t forget
I’ve just been swamped. According to April, this one’s simple: He forgot. So you may need to help him understand how important whatever he “forgot” really is.
4. I didn’t do it…yet
Like the “I didn’t forget” excuse, throwing in the “yet” is a man’s way of trying to prove he isn’t flaky. Or he’s buying time to check off his honey-do list. Give him a deadline. Hey, everyone deserves a second (or third) chance!
5. I'm sorry
Sometimes men use this phrase as a get out of jail free card. “They don’t want to dissect what happened. They just want it to be over,” says April. “In fact, they may not even understand what they did wrong or what they’re apologizing for.” The good news? An apology is a sign a man loves you and wants to move forward with you.
6. I don't want to talk about this anymore
Men may say this when they feel backed into a corner. “This is a conversation they can’t win,”says April. Her advice: call a friend if you want to process further.
7. Calm down
Many a male has uttered these deadly words. What they’re really saying: “I can’t take the drama!” But according to April, “Calm down doesn’t mean you’re not justified in feeling freaked out." It simply means your man is looking for a way out of an argument.
We may never be able to decode man language completely. But April points out, “When you know that guy speak exists —and you accept it, instead of protesting it —you’re ahead of the game, and headed for a successful relationship.”