Bobby Bones wants to be your boyfriend.
If you've been looking for that special someone to snuggle up with on the couch while watching The Bachelorette together in matching t-shirts with your names in puffy paint, well — look no further! The award-winning host of the nationally syndicated Bobby Bones Show is not only ready to stop checking other girls' Instagram accounts just to be with you, but he also will be waiting with flowers when your plane arrives. Oh, and he's also willing to lick every one of your toes...er, wait...what!?
With an exclusive video premiere of "If I Was Your Boyfriend," from his first full-length album, The Critics Give It 5 Stars, with his musical comedy group, Bobby Bones And The Raging Idiots, Bones (née Estell) recently exposed the good, bad, and hilarious aspects of his dating life with Womanista.
In addition to the success of his No. 1 comedy album with Bobby Bones Show producer Eddie, Bones can also now impressively add New York Times bestselling author to his title with his memoir, Bare Bones: I’m Not Lonely If You’re Reading This Book.
At 36 years old, Bones openly admits that he never intended to write a memoir — "I haven’t been to the moon or been the president...yet," he jokes — however, after a meeting about a children's book, he was unexpectedly putting pen to paper with his own story.
From his young love affair with country music, while his single mama battled addiction in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, he explains, "Everyone has something in their lives that’s a hole to crawl out of. It was supposed to be a kids book, but it turned into a story of not letting your environment shape who you are. You can shape your own environment." He further details working himself to the bone with odd jobs just to make ends meet, to white-knuckling his on-air dream no matter the cost.
And yes, the self-described non-writer is well aware there's typos. "You can read it and tell that I wrote it," Bones says with a laugh. "There’s even typos in the book! Who puts a book out with typos? Only me. It’s the only book I’ve read with typos in it."
In addition to misspelling, he also "sucks at girls," which he shamelessly addresses in his memoir with clever aliases for each girl — cough, "Betty Boop," for example. When he got insurance for the first time, he saw "therapy listed" and has never looked back. To deal with his "trust issues," he's met with professionals to address his weaknesses and learn tools to "get better at it." Wearing his heart on his sleeve, he adds, "I just feel like I haven’t met that person yet."
According to Bones, "I’m the idiot in relationships." He apparently broke up with one "great girl" due to work and distance, however, he made a valiant attempt to win her back by driving to her house, strapped with a guitar and a song he wrote for her. "I wrote this song — probably called something like, 'Let’s get back together,' — and I beat on the door," he continues. "And when she opened it up, there was this huge dude sitting on the couch. I didn’t leave like I should have. I asked her to come outside and I played her the song. Then, she asked me to leave. And I did."
However, if he ever scored a date with his beautiful dream girl, leading lady Kate Beckinsale, then he'd get married pronto. The picturesque setting would be at a hometown Arkansas Razorbacks football championship game with the University of Arkansas' players "about to score a touchdown." He details, "And if we win, she says yes." After catching a quick plane to Vegas, they wed the same night!
Bones' had about three or four first dates that led to long-term relationships spanning up to four years time. "I’ve known every single time on the first date that I was going to be with that person for a long time," he recalls. "Those first dates — regardless of where they were, the setting, how much money I’ve spent — I’ve always just known immediately that we were going to be together. Those were always the best dates."
And he feels like up until now, he's sabotaged some "quality" relationships, which could have ended with church bells ringing and "I Do." He's learned to open up more with each significant other and especially allowed himself to feel "vulnerable" with his last girlfriend. "I felt like each of the real relationships I have had have made me a better person," he admits. "Those are the people I want to be around all the time, people who make me better."
That does not include his first kiss! While playing spin the bottle in Kansas City, Missouri, at 15 years old, he "vividly" remembers a girl saying, "Oh, no, do I have to?," as his spin landed on her. "Until college I never had a girlfriend," he continues. "I didn't lose my virginity until my 20s. I'm late at this whole thing." Or is he right on time?
"If I Was Your Boyfriend" was in fact penned for someone "who is pretty known," but their relationship never progressed passed "talking" — "as the kids call it," he jokes. For now, he is in search of a "normal awesome girl." Despite mostly dating artists or women within the music industry, he wants someone who is "the opposite of me," Bones adds. "Totally not nuts because I am a handful. I’ve been looking for a long time."
So, that leaves one burning question: Are you Mrs. Bones?