21 Pieces of Advice From People in Long Marriages

| Love & Marriage

Valentine's Day is a day for celebrating your loved ones. Not only does it highlight the great parts of your relationship with your spouse, but it can also highlight a few low points as well. For times when you feel discouraged in your marriage or are just looking for some advice, check out these pieces of advice from people in long marriages. We asked our readers to share with us their key to success, and we think they've got a pretty great recipe.

Senior couple walking and laughing together

"Don't complain to your family or friends about what your spouse does or doesn't do." — RF

"Make the choice every day to love your spouse. It is a choice. You can let days go by just going through the motions, or you can be intentional." — MJA

"Marriage is not a 50-50 relationship. It's a 100-100 relationship. You've got to be willing to give 100 percent (and sometimes more). We will celebrate 30 years together in July, and I couldn't imagine my life without him." — PJ

"Never discuss your problems with others! And always be each other's biggest supporter! Married 21 years (army wife)." — NRR

"Realize it isn't always easy... but nothing worth having is. Married 32 years on 2/13/15." — KD

"Give over 100 percent. Do small things and leave love notes. Trust, honesty and communication are the top three. Sex doesn't make a marriage. Money doesn't make a marriage. Always kiss each other when you are leaving one another; always kiss each other when you return home and always say 'I love you.' Never go to bed mad and always say 'I love you' and 'goodnight.' When you say 'I love you,' mean it; if you don't, then you aren't happy. No one can make you happy, so don't look into your spouse to make you happy; you have to do that for yourself. Been married 21 years and never had a fight. Yes, disagreements — talked out and ended. God couldn't have made a better match JMO I am stickin' to my story." — BBB

"Been married for 25 years. Marry your best friend." — PB


"Don't expect either one to be perfect. Embrace each other for who you are and who you have become over the years. We all change and grow and you have to choose to continue to love your spouse over the years, as we all evolve and change. Married 17 years to my very best friend, and we've been together since we were 15!" — AC

"What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. The first person to say sorry is the winner. Never go to bed angry. That is the advice my 95-year-old grandma told me!" — PA

"Listen to each other, work at your marriage, and court and date each other. Do the little things to let each other know thyou think of them. It goes by fast. Twenty-four years married to my best friend." — NP

"Talk to each other — if one is giving the other the pips over something, let them know. When they do something nice (like taking the garbage out without being asked), let them know. Tell them you love them more than once a day, and kisses and cuddles — endless amounts of those. That's why we are still as close as ever 20 years on." — JH

"Married 50 years. There are gonna be ups and downs. Don't give up until there is no more to fight for." — DRC

"Pick your battles. Don't sweat the small stuff. I'm married to my best friend — will be 38 years in June. Kiss good morning, kiss goodbye, kiss hello and kiss good night." — TPC

"Don't give up because you're not getting along; fight to make it work. Communication is key. Married 23 years." — CAD

Couple Hiking

"Communication! We also treat our marriage like a job — it takes work to keep it together. We will celebrate 23 years of pure happiness and love in July!" — AG

"Communicate, communicate, communicate. Say I love you often. Say I am sorry when appropriate. Keep God in your marriage. Do the unexpected sweet thing for one another. ALWAYS say thank you. Do NOT give up easily on each other when the times get tough!" — DWE

"Marriage is a union of two forgivers!" — DMJ

"Sometimes it IS better to go to bed angry. You wake up with a clear head and usually both wake up apologizing to each other and laughing over your silly tiff." — ADB

"Accept your spouse for who and what they are. 25 years." — SH

"If you can see past the difficulty in front of you, and see the heart of the other person, and know it's good, they're worth it. (12 years married)" — TM

"Don't settle! Know what your wants and needs are and don't settle or compromise for less. Have more common interest than nothing in common, and be willing to compromise to learn new interests." — CSM

What kind of advice do you have for young married couples? Share with us in the comments below!