No matter how confident we are there will be days or seasons when we feel out of place, uncomfortable and need to be reminded of how incredible we really are. Whether you need encouragement to speak your mind or body-positive reinforcement, here are 11 helpful tips from those in the know about why you are complete just the way you are.
Remember Your Strengths
Take time to remember your strengths because you are unique, unlike anyone else. To remind yourself of your abilities, write a list of your strengths and achievements, said Neel Burton, MD, on Psychology Today. He suggests keeping the list in a safe place, and reading it whenever you need an extra pick me-up. We're all about reading this list each morning to set a positive mindset for the day ahead.
“Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and a valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself,” Burton said.
Step back from life’s busy schedule and take the time to get to know you, an important aspect of self-care and something actress Allison Janey recommends, according to InStyle.
"Get to know yourself before you let anyone else into your party,” Jane said.
Think of it as dating yourself, as preferences and personality can change over time. What do you like or not like? Explore different genres of music, sample chocolates or go shopping to pick out one item you really love. Enjoy the day in all its self-awareness glory.
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect
“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says author Brené Brown in Daring Greatly. “Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”
Don’t Put Yourself in a Box
Don’t get wrapped up in labels. Oftentimes we want to ascribe definitions, but you are fluid and free to grow and change, as you’d like. People do not get to impute your value, either.
“Don’t define yourself yet…you’re so much more complex than that,” Tatiana Maslany said to InStyle. “People want to put you in a box…”
Instead, realize that you are fully you and have many diverse components, as well as the ability to change and grow.
Focus on What You Can Do
"Instead of saying 'I hate my thighs,' ask yourself: What do your thighs allow you to do?" said Robyn Silverman, Ph.D., to Womens Health. “Maybe it becomes 'my legs allow me to take Zumba class, which makes me feel awesome.'”
Verbalize how amazing your body is by focusing on what it allows you to do instead of getting caught up in what it looks like. Realize that your body can do phenomenal things and give yourself grace.
It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our friends, celebrities or even complete strangers, especially with our daily consumption of social media. But remember the positive things about your life, and that even those who appear to 'have it all' still struggle comparing their life to someone else’s.
“Don’t compare yourself to others,” actress Carice Van Houten said to InStyle. “… There’s always going to be taller women, prettier women, richer women, and smarter women. You have to try to stay with yourself."
Remember Anything is Possible
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” Audrey Hepburn once said. Take time to remember the possibility out there, and give yourself permission to dream. If you feel like you’re in a rut, step back and remind yourself that you still have plenty of opportunity ahead.
Embrace Your Weirdness
None of us are all alike, and if we’re honest, it’s often the quirky things we find most endearing about those we love. Remember that you don’t have to fit a certain mold to be acceptable and that it’s OK to be weird.
“Be the weirdo who dares to enjoy,” Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book Big Magic.
Wear Your Favorite Outfit
Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself instead of throwing on that crumpled t-shirt on the floor, said Neel Burton, MD, on Psychology Today.
Age Doesn’t Matter
“You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life,” Coco Channel said.
As the saying goes, age is just a number. If you’re feeling old or in the middle of a twenty-something crisis thinking of all the things you should have done by now, step back and enjoy exactly where you are. Each day is a gift and every birthday is one worth celebrating.
Let It Go
Instead of getting defensive or worrying about what someone thinks about you, consider the source and let it go.
“Human's will always bump heads, but consider the source, and if it's the other person's issue, ignore it,” said Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. on Psychology Today. “Learn to respond instead of react, and don't show your ire.”
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